Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
