take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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