Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize