I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
