what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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