dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
