Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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