Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
