do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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