How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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