Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
