please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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