ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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