soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
