what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
