hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize