I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
