Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
