just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
