Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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