Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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