do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
