yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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