for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize