The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
