im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
