I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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