I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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