I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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