somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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