how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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