Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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