She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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