Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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