new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
