we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
