I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
