and i looked up. we had an audience...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
