idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
