I'm really into asian looking animals
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Drake has all the answers
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
