I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just pynch a tree in the face
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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