He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
