she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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