I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well you can't waste a boner
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
