wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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