i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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