Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
