didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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