You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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