I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
