we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize