White coat. Heels.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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