Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
