But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
