thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
