Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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