If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
