I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
