so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
