I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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