Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
