i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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