How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
