is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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