i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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