he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
