We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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