Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So. Much. Porn.
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